just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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