She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
