Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you would pick up someone in the library
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
