oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
