You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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