Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
