chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
