so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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