I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
