Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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