I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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