Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
