Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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