Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
