yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
