We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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