dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
