..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
