haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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