Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
