I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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