Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
