It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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