Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
