I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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