So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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