Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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