Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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