Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
