I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
