To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
