Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
