I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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