I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
