I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
