dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
