just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
