My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
