I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
