Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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