Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
