I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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