hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
