yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
is that a dick in a sweater?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
