ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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