I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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