Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
