I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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