evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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