You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you had me at cake vodka
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
