I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
