..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
